Friday Funny

Memoirs of a Lich: Gear

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. After thousands of years of murdering teams of well-outfitted adventurers, we’ve amassed quite the stockpile of junk. I am pretty sure we’ve got a closet somewhere so precariously stacked with portable holes and bags of holding that it unintentionally qualifies as a magical trap. At this point, anything we stumble …

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Memoirs of a Lich: Lairs

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. As you read this, you are hopefully safely ensconced within the comfortable confines of your unassailable fortress. You are probably leisurely floating randomly through the Negative Energy Plane. Take a second to appreciate that vaguely soothing feeling living creatures equate with having their soul maimed. Now, admire the fine hand-crafted …

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Memoirs of a Lich: Monsters, Part 2

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. Here’s a status report on the murdering 13,680 commoners in 24 hours idea: totally doable but not nearly as fun as it sounds. The paralyzing everyone for appropriate placement actually makes it practical but also “incapacitates” any potential fun. They all look dead, so then, it feels like you’re walking …

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Your Whispering Homunculus

Your Whispering Homunculus: 50 Troll Features

 “What is that?”       “What is what, oh Oft-Accidentally-Flatulent One?”       “That extra head.”       “Oh. That. Well, tonight is the homunculi and magically-birthed menials’ ball, and I’m going as a troll whose regeneration has birthed an extra head.”       “I don’t remember giving you the night …

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