Memoirs of a Lich: Wannabes

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. I’m assuming at this point that you’ve bought in on the idea that I am you. Just in case, I’d like to call attention to your fourth rib down on the left. Upon close inspection, you will find an arcane mark of our favorite four letter word. For any home-invaders, I humbly recommend that you go arcane mark yourself. Like, what did I ever do to you anyway?! Actually, don’t answer that. For one thing, this is a...

Memoirs of a Lich: Prophecy

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. It is extremely important for you to forever remember the dire prophecy surrounding our downfall. They say a powerful group of four to six humanoids shall someday gain this diary and use it to bring about your final death. You shall know them by their purity of spirit being matched only by their ability to thwart your vile schemes. Each shall be born under the light of a crescent moon in the year of the owlbear to...

Memoirs of a Lich: Mistakes

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. I can prove it by relaying a personal, private detail from our past that you’ll never forget (no matter how far gone we become). Remember that time we dominated the dragon to act as a mount and how awesome it was? Okay, now, recall how we neglected to prepare a feather fall spell, thinking that we’d just cast fly if we needed to? As it turns out, you fall more than two hundred feet in about the same time as it takes...

Memoirs of a Lich: Allies

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. In case you still don’t believe me, I draw your attention to the masterful doodle of a pit fiend and balor engaged in a tender yet passionate embrace on the opposite page. Who else would know what that actually looks like? Here’s hoping Duke Adrastor and Lord Gordrak the Eviscerator work out. They make such a cute couple, and we helped make that particular miracle of matchmaking happen. To any Sir...

Memoirs of a Lich: Minions

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. If this is being read by anyone else, I want to be clear that this whole diary is a well-planned distraction, and my legions of cunning henchmen (and henchwomen, I’m an equal opportunity antagonist) are surrounding you at this very moment! Hah hah. No not really. That would be great if it was true though, right? No, I’ll inevitably have to kill you myself. Which brings me to today’s topic—minions....

Memoirs of a Lich: Arrogance

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. You can be sure it is me because I’m the only one who knows about our phylactery’s super-secret hiding place. Keep reading, and you’ll see I’m telling the absolute truth. For any sneaky protagonists taking a gander at my private thoughts, I’d say it is a bad idea to sneak a peek at an ancient lich’s diary. You never know when he might throw an explosive runes in the middle of a...

Memoirs of a Lich: Introduction

Dear Osvaud, This is Osvaud. We are writing things down because our memory is falling apart in our extreme decrepitude. If we stop remembering how great we are, we’ll just start moping about with nothing to do. Neither of us wants to end up a floating bejeweled skull. I mean, we’ve spent millennia building up our wardrobe. It is only a matter of time before that pink robe of the archmagi is back in fashion. So sit up, and pay...


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