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Your Whispering Homunculus: A Plethora of d12 Tables (Part 2 of 4)

Your Whispering Homunculus: A Plethora of d12 Tables (Part 2 of 4)

Your Whispering HomunculusMaster Pett’s Your Whispering Homunculus presents only the finest in British gaming. Indeed, you are not likely to find a more comprehensive assortment of miscellany anywhere.

(So much more than just another bloke in a dress.)


A Dozen Local Captains of the Watch

1. Strict Jak Kebble is the terror of his men. He’s suspicious of everyone and anyone he meets; he is initially unfriendly to everyone. With his neatly trimmed beard and chest of medals he is a strict military man of few words.

2. Sober Jabe, the drunk guard captain, is rarely seen outside the alehouses and taverns of the settlement. Jabe has a pet hedgehog called Grimtooth, and anyone who has an animal is his friend. He begins as friendly in attitude to any such character.

3. Speedy Hoggwid the huge captain can barely get out of bed without sweating. He has the most unpleasant body odor of any of the watch (and that against some pretty strict competition) and the most slovenly uniform. That he’s related to the local high fliers is the only reason he’s got on in life.

4. Marshgas Torbrill has a trio of pit bulls on very short leashes at all time. His dogs are almost as short-tempered as he is. A very short man, Marshgas makes up for it in temper. Rumor has it that he feeds his dogs steak every night

5. Soft Pip is dressed in her very tight leather jerkin. The voluptuous Pip is no pushover: she has risen to the top with her abilities and despite the japes of her fellow guards, all of whom are now petrified of her.

6. Blind Cartwell—how did he get the job? Well, they say Cartwell has a nose on him that is as good at finding a trail as any dog. He has the Scent feat and goes about sniffing the air whilst he taps his way around town with his white cane.

7. Happy Jodd smiled once eleven years ago and hasn’t got over it since.

8. Fragrant Subb Suggwart works as a tanner in his spare time and reeks of urine.

9. Sad Jacob Smiles never stops telling jokes, particularly about dwarves, who he finds very amusing indeed.

10. Mutkin Harper has the best voice in town. You can always tell when he’s coming along the street by his fine voice. The other guards are in his choir under duress and find the singing lessons demeaning.

11. Jobe Jinkins is really tall—almost seven foot from boots to head. In fact, rumour has it that everything about him is huge, from his huge boots to his huge nose.

12. Ruttin perpetually smells of fish, his wife is a fishwife, and his entire extended family are fishermen. Some say he turns a blind eye to smuggling.

A Dozen Notably Dressed NPCs

1. She wears a bridal gown which she appears to have worn for some time—years perhaps.

2. His turban is bound with gold thread and his copious silk gown hides a trio of silver-hilted scimitars.

3. He’s wearing a black jester’s outfit.

4. The top hat he wears is almost 2 foot high, he leans on a walnut cane with a raven’s head, and he grins through pointed teeth.

5. He doesn’t appear to be wearing anything at all except his hobnail boots.

6. He wears his curiously round moon hat at a very jaunty angle.

7. He wears a cloak made of rags.

8. She is dressed in the back half of a pantomime Tarrasque outfit

9. She has a jester’s hat on but a formal noble’s outfit below.

10. She wears a dress of peacock feathers.

11. He is dressed entirely in white.

12. She wears a black veil and has on a black gown held aloft by a dozen maids all also dressed in black.

5 thoughts on “Your Whispering Homunculus: A Plethora of d12 Tables (Part 2 of 4)”

  1. I don’t know why the idea of a pantomime tarrasque makes me giggle Wolfgang but it does. I’d buy one too:)

    Ah James, I think you should do that, the Atlantic is a big ocean to cross but that would be splendid to see.

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