“Here he is master. Young Nadger at your service.”
“M’nar, Great Master. How may a humble kobold of the bloodline of dragon turtles, so clearly shown by my attire, mighty voice, and bearing, be of assistance to you, my lord?”
“Well now, Nadger. I’m having trouble with this squid necromancer…”

Continuing our look at peculiarly dressed or mannered or behaving kobolds…

  1. Wears a knitted turtle shell
  2. Its tail is caught in an enormous mousetrap
  3. Drags around a fake mound of painted treasure it periodically sits on
  4. Eats chillies constantly and pretends to breathe fire
  5. Flaps its arms about like wings and constantly tries to fly while leaping off tall objects
  6. Has a curly tail like a pig’s
  7. Has a dragon-shaped kite attached to its back
  8. Carries four hefty bags with 203 minor traps inside
  9. Drags a huge bear-trap around
  10. Can’t get out of a very sturdy net
  11. Has pathetic stumpy flaccid wings growing from her shoulders
  12. Has covered herself in soot thinking it makes her look like a black dragon
  13. Is dressed in a pathetic fake pine tree costume
  14. Has painted bat’s eyes on the back of her head
  15. Has piercings through her scales
  16. Has made a fake scorpion sting for his tail
  17. Is hidden beneath an enormous horse rug
  18. Has a forked tongue
  19. Carries a huge trunk with the word “traps” written on it
  20. Painted eyes on her tail to make it look like a snake
  21. Fashioned its tail with fake suckers to look like a squid’s tentacle
  22. Has a hefty metal ball and chain tied around her tail
  23. Grips a ceremonial staff made of a dragon bone smeared with pungent divine cheese
  24. Wanders about in a human-sized breastplate that acts like a shell
  25. Has a ridiculously long tail
  26. A dragonfly skitters about her head
  27. Has a live toad in his mouth
  28. Sharpens her fangs with a file
  29. Wears spectacles and reads a book
  30. Has eight withered dire rat’s tail attached to its own tail
  31. Pushes a large carved wooden green dragon on wheels about
  32. Paints her grey scales flaming red to hide her age
  33. Wears a crown of clearly fake dragon teeth
  34. Wears a crown of human false teeth
  35. Your Whispering HomunculusRolls a huge stone egg about
  36. Has attached dozens of bells to its tail
  37. Has a lasso about its neck
  38. Wears a goblin-head mask
  39. Wanders about with a ladder, a stuffed badger and an inflated pig bladder
  40. Has dressed his pet crow up to look like a dragon
  41. Has painted “bite me” in Common on its chest
  42. To prove her draconic might carries a rock almost as big as she is
  43. Wears a ceremonial gown made of the hands of her deceased forefathers and foremothers
  44. Has “Petal the Slayer” written on her shield
  45. Wears a dog collar
  46. Dressed in animal skulls
  47. Hides behind a cloak made of bark
  48. Wanders about in a barrel with eyeholes
  49. Has flippers on the end of his tail
  50. Carefully holds the beatific dead vole resplendent in her divine sack

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For more of Pett’s perilous puns and collected oddities from Your Whispering Homunculus, check out the collected Your Whispering Homunculus and More Whispering Homunculus.

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