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Your Whispering Homunculus: Random Topics of Local Conversation

Your Whispering Homunculus: Random Topics of Local Conversation

Your Whispering HomunculusMaster Pett’s Your Whispering Homunculus presents only the finest in British gaming. Indeed, you are not likely to find a more comprehensive assortment of miscellany anywhere.

(So much more than just another bloke in a dress.)



“And what have you learnt, maggot-thing?”

“Nothing today master, unless you aren’t aware that a seven-headed pig was born on Worm Way last weekend.”

“I heard that tale yesterday.”

“Your pardon, oh masterfullness.”

“Where is the true gossip these days, the leads into mighty tales and buried treasure?”

“I expect not everyone has such lofty goals master.”

“True, funglet. It does, however, give me an idea…”



Some time ago, “Your Whispering Homunculus” had a list of gossip for local people. At the time, those lovely folks out there on the messageboards suggested a list to randomly develop such gossip.

Here that random chart is, and what a fine idea it was. Thank you for the suggestion, I hope you have fun.

A failed diplomacy check can signal the end of a line of inquiry, or it could open up an entirely new thread of investigation. The chart below is designed to create random bits of gossip or strange starting points for local adventure—all using only a d12.

First, generate the name and occupation of the person, then their action and the subject and temperament of their action, and finally, why they did what they did and when. Use your imagination to fill in the gaps: for example, Blait Dandtell the village drunk kissed a prince that’s really a horse yesterday for a bet. Where this goes and how true it is, is left entirely in your capable hands.

If the random chart generates something very obscure or at odds with itself, either ignore it or embellish it further as you wish.

First Name                            Surname                    The Local…

1              Jog                                         Boolquaffer                        Drunk

2              Blait                                       Smugg                                  Innkeeper

3              Karb                                       Dandtell                               Smithy

4              Dentill                                   Maquink                              Priest

5              Spradge                               Bremwish                            Watch Captain

6              Narky                                    Fungle                                  Village Idiot

7              Sarky                                    Toddler                                 Squire

8              Yupple                                 Yupple                                  Turnip farmer

9              Madge                                  Mikwell                                 Pig breeder

10           Moniquil                              Marmurt                              Dandy

11           Quinton                                 Slabb                                     Retired adventurer

12           Quaid                                     Cuccelwhite                       Chimneysweep

Action                                    Temperament          Subject

1              Imprisoned a(n)               Ugly                                       Mermaid

2              Married a(n)                      Beautiful                              Singing dog

3              Was attacked by a(n)     Invisible                               Giant’s daughter

4              Attacked a(n)                    Two Headed                       Dire badger

5              Kissed a(n)                          Magical                                 Baron’s daughter

6              Pickled a(n)                        Cursed                                  Witch

7              Slaughtered a(n)              Lycanthrope                      Horse

8              Killed by a(n)                     Incredibly fat                    Gnome

9              Unmasked a(n)                 Plague-carrying                Trollwife

10           Killed a(n)                           Prince that’s really a       Goblin

11           Buried a(n)                          Frog that’s really a           Pig

12           Gibbeted  a(n)                   Angry                                    Magical thrush

Why?                                                 When

1              Because of magic                             Just now

2              For a bet                                              This morning

3              Madness                                              Last night

4              Bewitched                                           Yesterday

5              For money                                          Last week

6              For love                                               Last month

7              Because they’re related                Last year

8              To end a quest                                  A decade or so ago

9              No reason                                           A hundred years ago last Tuesday

10           Because his wife told him to       A long time ago

11           His son/family made him              In legend

12           In penance to his god                     They say

5 thoughts on “Your Whispering Homunculus: Random Topics of Local Conversation”

  1. Just this morning, local Drunk Karb Dandtell was imprisoned after having killed the incredibly fat pig of locally famous adventurer, now retired, Sarky Fungle. It appears that the killing was due to love, but whose love of whom (or what) is unclear at this time.

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