“Here he is master. Young Nadger at your service.”
“M’nar, Great Master. How may a humble kobold of the bloodline of dragon turtles, so clearly shown by my attire, mighty voice, and bearing, be of assistance to you, my lord?”
“Well now, Nadger. I’m having trouble with this squid necromancer…”
Continuing our look at peculiarly dressed or mannered or behaving kobolds…
- Wears a knitted turtle shell
- Its tail is caught in an enormous mousetrap
- Drags around a fake mound of painted treasure it periodically sits on
- Eats chillies constantly and pretends to breathe fire
- Flaps its arms about like wings and constantly tries to fly while leaping off tall objects
- Has a curly tail like a pig’s
- Has a dragon-shaped kite attached to its back
- Carries four hefty bags with 203 minor traps inside
- Drags a huge bear-trap around
- Can’t get out of a very sturdy net
- Has pathetic stumpy flaccid wings growing from her shoulders
- Has covered herself in soot thinking it makes her look like a black dragon
- Is dressed in a pathetic fake pine tree costume
- Has painted bat’s eyes on the back of her head
- Has piercings through her scales
- Has made a fake scorpion sting for his tail
- Is hidden beneath an enormous horse rug
- Has a forked tongue
- Carries a huge trunk with the word “traps” written on it
- Painted eyes on her tail to make it look like a snake
- Fashioned its tail with fake suckers to look like a squid’s tentacle
- Has a hefty metal ball and chain tied around her tail
- Grips a ceremonial staff made of a dragon bone smeared with pungent divine cheese
- Wanders about in a human-sized breastplate that acts like a shell
- Has a ridiculously long tail
- A dragonfly skitters about her head
- Has a live toad in his mouth
- Sharpens her fangs with a file
- Wears spectacles and reads a book
- Has eight withered dire rat’s tail attached to its own tail
- Pushes a large carved wooden green dragon on wheels about
- Paints her grey scales flaming red to hide her age
- Wears a crown of clearly fake dragon teeth
- Wears a crown of human false teeth
- Rolls a huge stone egg about
- Has attached dozens of bells to its tail
- Has a lasso about its neck
- Wears a goblin-head mask
- Wanders about with a ladder, a stuffed badger and an inflated pig bladder
- Has dressed his pet crow up to look like a dragon
- Has painted “bite me” in Common on its chest
- To prove her draconic might carries a rock almost as big as she is
- Wears a ceremonial gown made of the hands of her deceased forefathers and foremothers
- Has “Petal the Slayer” written on her shield
- Wears a dog collar
- Dressed in animal skulls
- Hides behind a cloak made of bark
- Wanders about in a barrel with eyeholes
- Has flippers on the end of his tail
- Carefully holds the beatific dead vole resplendent in her divine sack
For more of Pett’s perilous puns and collected oddities from Your Whispering Homunculus, check out the collected Your Whispering Homunculus and More Whispering Homunculus.