Master Pett’s Your Whispering Homunculus presents only the finest in British gaming. Indeed, you are not likely to find a more comprehensive assortment of miscellany anywhere.
(So much more than just another bloke in a dress.)
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“And what have you learnt, maggot-thing?”
“Nothing today master, unless you aren’t aware that a seven-headed pig was born on Worm Way last weekend.”
“I heard that tale yesterday.”
“Your pardon, oh masterfullness.”
“Where is the true gossip these days, the leads into mighty tales and buried treasure?”
“I expect not everyone has such lofty goals master.”
“True, funglet. It does, however, give me an idea…”
***
Some time ago, “Your Whispering Homunculus” had a list of gossip for local people. At the time, those lovely folks out there on the messageboards suggested a list to randomly develop such gossip.
Here that random chart is, and what a fine idea it was. Thank you for the suggestion, I hope you have fun.
A failed diplomacy check can signal the end of a line of inquiry, or it could open up an entirely new thread of investigation. The chart below is designed to create random bits of gossip or strange starting points for local adventure—all using only a d12.
First, generate the name and occupation of the person, then their action and the subject and temperament of their action, and finally, why they did what they did and when. Use your imagination to fill in the gaps: for example, Blait Dandtell the village drunk kissed a prince that’s really a horse yesterday for a bet. Where this goes and how true it is, is left entirely in your capable hands.
If the random chart generates something very obscure or at odds with itself, either ignore it or embellish it further as you wish.
First Name Surname The Local…
1 Jog Boolquaffer Drunk
2 Blait Smugg Innkeeper
3 Karb Dandtell Smithy
4 Dentill Maquink Priest
5 Spradge Bremwish Watch Captain
6 Narky Fungle Village Idiot
7 Sarky Toddler Squire
8 Yupple Yupple Turnip farmer
9 Madge Mikwell Pig breeder
10 Moniquil Marmurt Dandy
11 Quinton Slabb Retired adventurer
12 Quaid Cuccelwhite Chimneysweep
Action Temperament Subject
1 Imprisoned a(n) Ugly Mermaid
2 Married a(n) Beautiful Singing dog
3 Was attacked by a(n) Invisible Giant’s daughter
4 Attacked a(n) Two Headed Dire badger
5 Kissed a(n) Magical Baron’s daughter
6 Pickled a(n) Cursed Witch
7 Slaughtered a(n) Lycanthrope Horse
8 Killed by a(n) Incredibly fat Gnome
9 Unmasked a(n) Plague-carrying Trollwife
10 Killed a(n) Prince that’s really a Goblin
11 Buried a(n) Frog that’s really a Pig
12 Gibbeted a(n) Angry Magical thrush
Why? When
1 Because of magic Just now
2 For a bet This morning
3 Madness Last night
4 Bewitched Yesterday
5 For money Last week
6 For love Last month
7 Because they’re related Last year
8 To end a quest A decade or so ago
9 No reason A hundred years ago last Tuesday
10 Because his wife told him to A long time ago
11 His son/family made him In legend
12 In penance to his god They say
Awesome table, thank you. This would be useful for an improv comedy show, too.
I kissed a beautiful goblin for no reason just now!
Wonderful inspirating as usual.
With a great thanks
The Bull
Just this morning, local Drunk Karb Dandtell was imprisoned after having killed the incredibly fat pig of locally famous adventurer, now retired, Sarky Fungle. It appears that the killing was due to love, but whose love of whom (or what) is unclear at this time.
Hoorah!