“I’m back Master. Task completed.”
“You have the fifty I asked for?”
“Yes, oh Corpulently Nasaled One, with a note for each and every unusual one of them I met. May I ask why you assigned me this task, master?
“No. Now hand the list over, and go and oil the imp.”
Those of you with long memories may recall that in the (ahem) well-regarded publication Your Whispering Homunculus we had a table of 50 passing folk. These characters might be encountered on a street, walk up to the PCs and strike up a conversation, or be a bigger part in your adventures. When your NPCs have a certain something about them, it makes everything seem a little bit more believable or intriguing.
We here at YWH believe you can never have enough NPCs, so here for your gratification are 50 more passersby spread over two parts.
- A trail of piglets follow Farmer Grupp into the tavern
- Ackle staggers by, bent and leaning on his stick decorated with living mice
- Badger Snape hates strangers and can’t stop staring at them when they arrive
- Bald Sam carefully combs his hair over his bald pate every morning and heads out looking for gossip
- Bland Eppy has nothing interesting about him whatsoever
- Boggry Smedge has a mouthful of crooked teeth and an endless amount of poems about lurkers above (or should that be lurker aboves, he’s never quite sure)
- Bok’s pockets are always full of rats and his head full of thoughts of poaching
- Bronty rides past on her sway-backed nag demanding he canters
- Comely Lorrel is always eating her father’s pastries and plotting the death of his cherished but hateful ferrets
- Crump is sad today, he’s taking his beloved comely cow to market as he has no money to feed her anymore
- Daffodil wanders past staring at herself in a mirror and looking for a handsome prince
- Dedge demands a copper coin to see his magical singing bat
- Ermine stomps by in her ruined wedding dress, sobbing hysterically
- Ermy has three eyes
- Everyone seems to think that Bussel the Talking Sheep is perfectly normal
- Friendly Mally, peddling her wares and winking at strangers, her false teeth varnished ready for the day
- Good Reddy takes his job as volunteer village watchman far too seriously, he’s convinced that strangers bring lycanthropy into his beloved village and has a cunning series of test to root them out; essentially involving them spinning atop various peculiar objects to prove their infection
- Heppy and Wod are eloping at this very moment, pursued by angry parents and an aggrieved aristocratic old man who has been promised Heppy’s hand
- Here comes Lettie Whelk with her twenty tiny dogs on leads, she’s always looking for cats…
His Grace the Worshipful Vicar Jacrey of Tudge sings hymns all day and tends his beloved bees, who follow him wherever he goes- Jack, Sab and Lilly ride past atop farmer Figg’s massive pig Warship
- Jaggry walks past, unaware he is smouldering
- Jak stomps past, clacking his shears and muttering about vengeance
- Jasper the Whelk Man wanders round all day peddling his fresh whelks with the help of his orange-painted pet crab Montague
- Jeminia Lilleth always watches over her shoulders for the devil in pigeon form she is sure stalks her
For more of Pett’s perilous puns and collected oddities from Your Whispering Homunculus, check out the collected Your Whispering Homunculus and More Whispering Homunculus.
