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Did You Know… Oozes Hate Butter?

Did You Know… Oozes Hate Butter?

slimeOnce upon an average day in a bleak and all-to consistent village, there was a young girl helping her mother with chores.

“Because Pappy and the boys are out slaying those darn rats in the field for Mr. Hibbins, Mrs. Hibbins is rewarding us with some freshly churned butter. Sally, I need you to go and get the butter, so I can make sweet rolls for after dinner.”

Sally looked at her mother with a smile and headed off to the Hibbins’ home. After a glass of lemonade, Mrs. Hibbins handed her two jars of freshly churned butter and sent her on her way. Suddenly, about halfway home, she heard a noise…

“A SLIME!” she exclaimed as she ran around the gelatinous mass only to trip and break a jar on a rock, unleashing the butter within. Quickly gathering herself and leaping up, she turned in time to see the slime miraculously breaking apart.

In fact, the butter had saved her from being eaten. The slime, on the other hand, was fizzing and popping, unable to escape the dreaded gooey yellow substance. Realizing what had just happened, Sally ran cheerfully home and told her mom, who spread the word to the rest of the villagers at the next town meeting. In the end, the village elders decided to pour butter down the town well in order to kill the slime breeding ground.

The village never had trouble with slimes again. Just a few weeks later, however, a green dragon attracted to the sweet, buttery aroma ate half of the populace.

Butter

Butter only seems to damage those slimes with an especially acidic nature, and such a slime will instantly try to flee from its devastating effects. If a slime is continuously exposed to butter, it will die.

Butter damage is a lingering effect:

  • 1 tablespoon or less = 1 damage/1d3 turns
  • 1 tablespoon—1 cup = 1d3 damage/2d4 turns
  • 1 cup or more = 2d4 damage/1d6+1d4 turns

(Open Game License)

14 thoughts on “Did You Know… Oozes Hate Butter?”

  1. Heh.

    Now every well equipped party will be taking dairy cows with them on every expedition.

    Does fresh butter work better or will rancid butter work? And does cream (the substance butter is actually made of) work equally well? If cream does not work, what about melted butter? These are important questions in a world without refrigeration where every household probably makes its own butter.

  2. “Just a few weeks later, however, a green dragon attracted to the sweet, buttery aroma ate half of the populous.”
    Priceless. Great work.

  3. Edit: The word “populous” is an adjective and not a noun. This has been corrected. (By replacing it with a noun of related meaning, not by changing its status as an adjective. I don’t really have the authority to do that second thing, but oh, if I could…)

  4. I’d love to make the “Did you know…” column a regular feature, so feel free to send me similar pieces. They should be short, fun, and FLAVORFUL. (Ha ha ha, there’s a wicked left cross of a pun for you!)

  5. Another good reason to not use margarine…

    “I can’t believe it’s not butter” will take on a whole new meaning.

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