Home / Delve into the Depths in the Kobold Blog / Your Whispering Homunculus: The Gear Gear

Your Whispering Homunculus: The Gear Gear

Your Whispering Homunculus: The Gear Gear

Mike Lowe

Art by Mike Lowe

“Awaken, slug.”

“Master, have pity. I meant no harm. I only cast magic jar as a jest! Please let me out of this beer bottle. It’s very cramped.”

“Get used to it, traitorous rat-bride. You’ll be spending a year and a day in there at the least. That’s if I don’t decide to dispense with your services altogether. I still haven’t decided.”

“Lordly master, have pity. I’ll do anything—wash your smalls, iron your wizard’s hat, alphabetically arrange your nick-nacks—anything.”

It sits there staring: the last blank item on your most splendid statistic block. After all the feats and powers and appearance, it’s the one thing left. Gear. Gear can be tricky. Once you get beyond that powerful array of magic items and quirky armor, what else can you use to make a character stand out?

An unusual appearance or quirky piece of clothing can help. It lends a little something notable—something different. A villain in a tall dark top hat or one with tinted lenses and a carnation or a black rose is much more memorable than one who wears a noble outfit—unless, of course, that noble outfit is made entirely of magpie feathers. Here are a few suggestions and starting points if your mind is blank when faced with more gear to assign.

To use the gear gear, use d12s, changing any results you don’t like or that don’t fit the class, or adjusting them accordingly on your whim. As ever, we’ve avoided adding values; these are for you to assign based upon the wealth, standing, and power of your NPC in question. Don’t forget to tweak the descriptions based on sex and size.

And, of course, use as many or as few as you desire.

1          Armor

  1. Much battered
  2. Immaculately polished and cared for
  3. Has faded filigree work depicting cavorting salmon
  4. Is historic, showing signs of great age
  5. Is made up of other suits of armor
  6. Is a bad fit
  7. Is decorated with notches reflecting the number of opponents killed
  8. Is decorated with crow feathers
  9. Is covered in scratches
  10. Is adorned with extra rags of armor stolen from enemies
  11. Is wrapped in silk scarves
  12. Is incredibly filthy

2          Baggage or Holders

  1. A pouch made of an elephant’s ear
  2. A wallet made from sewn mice and rats
  3. A leather pack containing dozens of pockets
  4. A money belt made from old prayer flags
  5. A scroll case made of sewn snakeskin and metal plates
  6. A shoulder bag of great age with ornate decorations made from human finger bones
  7. A hemp bag
  8. A small lobster pot
  9. A clay pot with string for a shoulder strap
  10. A purse made from a dead starling
  11. A choker-face pouch
  12. A hollowed-out marrow


3          Body Art

  1. Silver pins thrust through a cheekbone
  2. A tattoo entwined with gold rings
  3. Multiple iron and copper rings pushed through one ear
  4. A crocodile tooth thrust through the nose
  5. Henna tattoos sprinkled with silver dust
  6. A huge silver nose ring
  7. Small silver bells through the lower lip
  8. A silver nipple ring with rat tail attached
  9. A long earring made from crow’s beaks
  10. False nails made from steel
  11. Tribal or cult face scars with needles and bones pushed through
  12. A branding scar hung with gold rings


4          Clothing, Lower

  1. Trousers without knees
  2. Waxed fisherman’s breeches
  3. Kilt
  4. Lucky silk scarf wrapped about upper thigh
  5. Tie-dyed
  6. Sewn with colorful rags
  7. Hefty leather knee pads
  8. Fancy yellow silk breeches
  9. Fancy codpiece or broad belt
  10. Made of patches of other trousers
  11. Fur-lined breeches with leather knees
  12. Very tight breeches

5          Clothing, Upper

  1. Frilly white silk shirt
  2. Ruff
  3. Top hat
  4. Hood woven with cavorting bulls and milkmaids
  5. Fancy leather waistcoat
  6. Thick calfskin girdle
  7. An apron
  8. An outrageously floppy hat
  9. Fez
  10. Fur cloak, wrap, or clothing trim
  11. The remains of a straight-jacket
  12. Bandaged

6          Footwear

  1. High boots made from calfskin with metal heels
  2. Sandals made from owlbear pelts
  3. High boots with silver and steel toecaps
  4. Fancy buckles
  5. Fancy decoration depicting stag’s rutting
  6. Unusual color—purple, red, white or other
  7. Wrapped bandages and wood
  8. Clogs
  9. Is fashioned with metal plates
  10. Barefoot but with metal toe-rings
  11. Frequently repaired and resoled
  12. Highly polished black leather boots

7          Grotesque

  1. A human ear made into a broach
  2. Rings made of pig tails wrapped in wire
  3. A collection of human lower jaws made into bracelets
  4. Set of juggling balls made from dried lamb heads
  5. A necklace of human toe bones
  6. A belt made from a choker arm muscle and fixed with two snake jaws
  7. Gloves fashioned from girallon hands
  8. Spectacles made from stirge proboscis and colored glass
  9. Crop made of tied troglodyte tongues
  10. Cloak made of peacock, crow, and swan feathers woven into which are preserved heads of each type of bird
  11. A belt hung with humanoid toes
  12. Part of a dead relative in a bottle or urn

8          Jewellery or Accessories

  1. Sharp gold teeth
  2. Fancy earrings in the shape of swarming hornets
  3. Ankle bracelet designed to look like rutting unicorns
  4. Lacquer and silver fan with death’s head moth motifs
  5. Bracelet made of metal triangles each with a face of anguish carved into them
  6. Dozens of rings of all types
  7. Glass earrings encased within which are tiny dead mice
  8. An obsidian and gold hornet broach
  9. A gold serpent necklace entwined with blonde human hair
  10. A mosaic and gold pendant depicting a kobold beneath a halo
  11. A turquoise and silver pendant depicting a medusa looking in a mirror
  12. An onyx cameo depicting three lambs being eaten by wolves

9          Oddments

  1. Nose-flute tied to a thong about neck
  2. Fancy snuff box made from carved whale bone in one pocket
  3. Flint and steel in an old calfskin wrap with the tail still attached held in a wool holdall
  4. A broken belt hastily repaired with warg skin
  5. A handkerchief with a bat motif tied about neck
  6. Ashes of a deceased relative in a small jar and labelled in one pocket
  7. False moustache in top pocket
  8. A fan made of stretched aquatic elf skin decorated in horn and painted with animal scenes of hunger
  9. A knitted shawl of crimson and black with bright yellow and orange squares
  10. A jade model of a six-headed goat hanging from a belt
  11. A bone and silver corkscrew on a leather thong hung with rabbit’s feet
  12. A silver medicine spoon

10        Weapons

  1. Is much notched
  2. Has been repaired
  3. Is decorated in silver nails
  4. Has handle made from an iron horseshoe
  5. A naval version of the weapon marked with company insignia
  6. Is antique
  7. Is brand new
  8. Is decorated with citrines
  9. Is slightly bent
  10. Has a spare, brand new weapon still in its scabbard or wrapping with the receipt attached Fobb and Grudf and Daughter, Weaponsmiths to nobility
  11. Is obsessively sharpened
  12. Is badly abused

11        Hands, Arms, and Wrists

  1. Incredibly fine gloves
  2. White silk glove
  3. Tasselled armband
  4. A ring set with an owlbear tooth
  5. An iron bracelet anointed with oil
  6. A mahogany glove box veneered in sycamore
  7. Finger bells
  8. Single battered armorsmith’s glove
  9. A hawking glove
  10. Mittens
  11. An archery hand strap
  12. Silk tapestry tied about depicting fish cavorting with sahuagin

12        Just Plain Strange

  1. A glove puppet carp
  2. A mask made of bits of troll flesh
  3. A carved wooden mask covered in human flesh
  4. A walnut, iron, and onyx pipe with a clay bowl depicting a swan
  5. Stuffed bird on shoulder plinth
  6. Has a black rose thrust into clothing
  7. Monocle set with obsidian and gold
  8. Wears a false nose made of trollflesh
  9. All gear is doused in crimson dye
  10. A gnoll-bone corset
  11. Carries an extra third shoe
  12. Has false teeth made of elephant ivory.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join the Kobold Courier and Earn Loot!

Stay informed with the newest Kobold Press news and updates delivered to your inbox weekly. Join now and receive a PDF copy of Demon Cults & Secret Societies: Harbingers of the Yawning Void for 5th Edition (PDF)

Join The Kobold Courier


Be like Swolbold. Stay up to date with the newest Kobold Press news and updates delivered to your inbox twice a month.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This
Scroll to Top