Rise Turkeys, Rise!Guided by the stench of corpses, Sergeant of the Watch Tarvoss slowly descended the cellar’s rickety stairs. Enki and Jorgan, both capable veterans of the watch, followed in his wake. Ahead, their target was busy butchering a corpse in the light of a dozen candles. “Cervis Thaan,” Tarvoss bellowed, “you are under arrest!”

Cervis lifted his gaze from the corpse, studied the three watchmen and said, “Kill them.” A small creature, bloody muscles coiled tight around equally bloody organs, stepped between the watchmen and Cervis. Tarvoss raised his club and stepped forward. “Your abomination cannot—” was all he could utter before three quick strikes from the creature knocked him back. The creature seemed much larger now, its arms and head striking Enki in quick succession while Jorgan tugged at his sword, lodged deep in its side.

Cervis looked up; the watch’s untimely visit might be a blessing in disguise. “Fetch me that corpse. Your new brother is almost done.” As always, the meatpuppet obeyed…

A threadbare cloak barely hides this reeking collection of body parts from a dozen different creatures, crudely stitched and nailed together in a form that is barely humanoid.

Meatpuppet CR 3

XP 800
N Small construct
+1; Senses blindsight 60 ft.; Perception +0

AC 14, touch 12, flat-footed 13; (+1 Dex, +2 natural, +1 size)
hp 32 (4d10+10)
Fort +1, Ref +2, Will +1
Defensive Abilities sheath of flesh; DR 5/slashing; Immune construct traits

Speed 30 ft.
Melee 3 slams +7 (1d3+2)
Space 5 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
Special Attacks fetid deflation

Str 15, Dex 13, Con —, Int —, Wis 11, Cha 1
Base Atk +4; CMB +5; CMD 16
Languages none
SQ unfurling flesh

Environment any
Organization solitary or gang (2–4)
Treasure none

Fetid Deflation (Ex) While the unfurling flesh ability is active, a meatpuppet can, as a free action, trigger a fetid deflation that ends the unfurling flesh ability. All living creatures within 15 ft. are nauseated for 1 round by the foul air rushing from the meatpuppet (Fortitude DC 14).

Sheath of Flesh (Ex) Any weapon that strikes a meatpuppet sinks deep into its body, stuck in a mass of muscle and organ (Reflex DC 10). A successful Strength check (DC 10) pries loose a stuck weapon.

Unfurling Flesh (Ex) Forcing air into its flesh, a meatpuppet can, as a standard action, increase its size by one category (treat as enlarge person) for 1 minute. After using this ability, the meatpuppet cannot use it again for 2d4 rounds.


Constructing a meatpuppet is a rite of passage for construct creators: their very first creation animated by an elemental spirit. Created from muscles, sinews, and organs and given the shape of a halfling, a meatpuppet is a hideous thing to behold—its smell is even worse.

CL 5th; Price 4,500 gp

Requirements Craft Construct, animate dead, enlarge person, geas/quest, stinking cloud; creator must be CL 5th; Heal DC 13; Cost 2,250 gp


A meatpuppet is more than an assembled mass of rotting flesh; it is quite nimble and moves with the speed of a coiled viper. Devoid of eyes and ears, its entire body functions as a sensory organ offering blindsight 60 ft. A meatpuppet’s arms and head are very flexible, capable of tentacle-like slam attacks.

Habitat and Society

Meatpuppets follow wherever their masters lead them. Those meatpuppets that have lost their master instinctively seek out places of slaughter: abattoirs and battlefields. Multiple reports claim masterless meatpuppets wallow in blood, pressing their bodies against fresh cadavers, gaining some hideous sustenance thereby.


Its mindless nature makes the meatpuppet a fearless combatant. It slams its arms and head into its master’s foes, striking with a reach that belies its size. At the start of combat, a meatpuppet uses flesh inflation to enlarge itself. Incapable of ranged attacks, a meatpuppet always tries to engage its enemies in melee as soon as possible. If engaged by several enemies, it either trusts in its sheath of flesh ability to negate successive attacks, or it uses fetid deflation to disable several enemies at once.

(This post is Product Identity.)


Public Service Announcement: Watch where you toss those giblets this holiday season.

11 thoughts on “Meatpuppet”

  1. I love the Meatpuppet Maurice. I… MUST have one now. Also, *PING! PING! PING!* a ‘3’ on the Pett scale. And.. *PING!* a ‘4’ if you can recognize a friend’s parts thereon. Nice writing too. Well done!

  2. These are brilliant! I can confirm those Pett scale readings.

    Perfect for that Joker-style necromancer lurking in the underbelly or that dodgy pie seller on the edge of the slum.

  3. @JeninCanada
    I think only human(oid)s kill with elagance in mind. There are many efficient killers, but only human(oid)s kill fort the ‘Art’ of it.

    I really need to score a ‘6’ on the Pett scale soon ;->

  4. The only things that really “get to me” – that I find the least bit scary or creepy are all related to the undead or animated dead.

    That said, this is truly creepy and disgusting. IMO this is a 4 on the Pett scale and a strong 5 if there’s parts of someone you know in the mess.

    I am revolted!

    Great job!

  5. @Maurice
    You are one of the very few I would expect could design a ‘6’ on the scale. And I look forward to seeing it slither into revolting, un-namable existance.

  6. Doing a ‘6’ is not the hard part. Doing a ‘6’ while keeping it PG 13 is the hard part :-)

    But I guess that is part of the test? Gore is easy, horror is difficult?

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