As you migrate from convention to convention, leaving your safe warrens to adventure with other fearless kobolds, you might wonder, “What should I do with my kobold kiddos?”

We have the answer for you!

The Kobold Kiddos Convention Care Program has begun at cons around the world! When you show up for the convention, leave your young in the loving care of our highly-trained kobold mentors. While they are with us, they will take part in challenging, fun, not-at-all-dangerous activities designed to hone your young into useful and productive members of warren society.

Here are a few examples:

1. Public Speaking Skills: Not every kobold kiddo has the ability to communicate with other species yet. Our mentors will teach them useful phrases such as:

• “I am sorry you fell into that trap.”
• “I think I saw a gnome setting that trap earlier.”
• “You should find the gnomes and kill them in revenge.”
• “Would you like to buy this 100% accurate map of the dungeon, showing every trap? I will give you a special discount.”
• “How much for the dragon egg?”

2. Pointy Things Practice*: Conventions are wonderful places for kobold kiddos to learn useful combat skills! For an hour each day (minimum), we will allow all the young ones to race competitively through the crowds in the exhibitor hall with the goal of poking the most people along the way. We provide the magic weapons that count pokes; the convention provides the targets.

3. A “Scavenger Hunt”*: It’s not all about running through crowds of bigger creatures and kneecapping them with magic weapons – sometimes it’s about sneaking around and stealing things. Your kobold kiddos will be challenged to find as many items as they can in a scavenger hunt. All of these things belong to someone else, of course; otherwise, what’s the point? We have a wonderful prize waiting for the young one who completes the entire list in the fastest time without being injured or arrested.

Time’s running out for sign-ups! And ask us about our Frequent Care payment structure.

*We are not responsible for any kobold kiddos who haven’t learned how to evade capture. Really, parents, that’s the first thing you should be teaching them.