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Friday Funny: Charisma Penalties and Dirty Looks

Friday Funny: Charisma Penalties and Dirty Looks

big earsCharisma does not simply measure one’s force of personality—your confidence, your presence. It also measures physical attractiveness. A high Charisma means smooth-skin, coifed hair, symmetrical features: that you’re a real looker. A low Charisma, on the other hand, means something is… off.

Well, what’s off, exactly? Now, you can find out. Below is a list of 100 anomalous features. You should roll a number of d100s equal to your character’s negative Charisma modifier (1d100 for -1, 2d100 for -2, and so on). These anomalous features do not apply additional penalties to your character; they are merely a representation of your character’s low Charisma. In the event the same anomalous feature is rolled multiple times, you can choose to reroll the double or accept a particularly bad case of the anomalous feature (like extra thick eyebrows that also connect to your beard or the beadiest eyes in the world). After playing a chinless character that involuntarily drools, watch your players hesitate to make Charisma their dump stat…

  1. Chinless
  2. Double chin
  3. Untamed beard/facial hair
  4. Bald
  5. Balding
  6. Receding hairline
  7. Greasy hair
  8. Flat hair
  9. Dry scalp
  10. Hairy hands
  11. Big ears
  12. Hairy ears
  13. Unibrow
  14. Thick eyebrows
  15. No eyebrows
  16. Wide eyebrows
  17. Lazy eye
  18. Beady eyes
  19. Bloodshot eyes
  20. Bulging eyes
  21. Wandering eyes
  22. Fixed stare
  23. Blank expression
  24. Angry expression
  25. Lost expression
  26. Sad expression
  27. Disinterested expression
  28. Frightened expression
  29. Lustful expression
  30. Drunk expression
  31. Conceited expression
  32. Overbite
  33. Underbite
  34. Cleft lip
  35. Cracked tooth
  36. Missing tooth
  37. Missing teeth
  38. Crooked teeth
  39. Stained teeth
  40. Rotting teeth
  41. Extra teeth
  42. No upper lip
  43. No lower lip
  44. Dry lips
  45. Mole
  46. Blemish
  47. Lopsided scar
  48. Moist scar
  49. Deep scar
  50. Distracting scar
  51. Disturbing birthmark
  52. Wide nose
  53. Upturned nose
  54. Hooked nose
  55. Pointy nose
  56. Long nose
  57. Big nose
  58. Thick neck
  59. No neck
  60. Rough skin
  61. Pockmarked skin
  62. Leathery skin
  63. Oily skin
  64. Dirty
  65. Scruffy
  66. Puffy
  67. Pale
  68. Bloated
  69. Unnatural skin tone
  70. Dry skin
  71. Blank expression
  72. Angry expression
  73. Lost expression
  74. Sad expression
  75. Disinterested expression
  76. Frightened expression
  77. Lustful expression
  78. Drunk expression
  79. Conceited expression
  80. Spasm
  81. Involuntary tears
  82. Involuntary drool
  83. Involuntary noises
  84. Lip licker
  85. Lip biter
  86. Nail biter
  87. Bad breath
  88. Body odor
  89. Heavy breather
  90. Spits
  91. Scratches
  92. Facial tick
  93. Shifty
  94. Poor posture
  95. Stiff
  96. Noisy joints
  97. Bland fashion
  98. Gaudy
  99. Out of fashion
  100. Roll again twice and apply both anomalous features

Author’s note: This article is all in good fun and is not meant to insult. For every anomalous feature on this list, there is an example of a handsome person with such a feature. They could easily be qualities of characters with high Charisma, too. They are simply presented as quirks to help differentiate characters and add some hooks for interaction and some spice to roleplaying.

6 thoughts on “Friday Funny: Charisma Penalties and Dirty Looks”

  1. Ha! I love this. One of the players in my v3.5 Ravenloft game had a fighter with a 4 Charisma. (I usually throw out bad stat rolls, but hey, this WAS Ravenloft.) My group has been talking about resurrecting the campaign; I’ll definitely use this table. :-)

  2. Maybe you can replace the expressions with personality rather than looks based quirks. We all know that perfectly normal or even good looking guy or girl with the personality of a rabid dog or a corpse.

  3. so what would my Chr score be as I have…..
    #2 Double chin, #6 Receding hairline, #24 Angry expression, #35 Cracked tooth, #67 Pale, #70 Dry skin, #96 Noisy joints, and #99 Out of fashion.

    oh take into consideration Im 40 and have had way to many injuries…lol

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