Oh no! Despite the valiant efforts of Barbie and her friends, some naughty Kens have taken Barbie’s horse, Midnight, and her Dreamhouse too. Barbie needs help more than ever to fix this mess before the Kens spread their misunderstanding of the patriarchy too far.

This article contains three different Ken creatures as suitable challenges for PCs of levels 2–4. It’s up to you to stage the adventure, though placing the setting in a three or five scene one-shot adventure along a beach would suit the Kens best.

The PCs can encounter a group of Stereotypical Kens followed by a tougher encounter with the Flashmob Ken Swarm before facing off with Beach King Ken in the finale.

The final location is Ken’s Mojo Dojo Casa House, a remodeling of Barbie’s Dreamhouse that he had drawn by horses to an unattended spot of beachfront property.

Stereotypical Ken

This classically handsome humanoid struts around, preening in his dark leather vest while he plays with a lasso. He only wants to talk about horses and how the patriarchy is the best system of government.

The everyday Ken is normally a kind, supportive guy, a benevolent consciousness imbued into a humanlike automaton by the creator known only as The Handler.

However, under the misguided understanding of the patriarchy, Stereotypical Ken becomes a force for selfish vibes. He uses his modeled appearance and reputation against others, eagerly roughhousing whenever he gets a chance.

With the teachings of patriarchy come a budding but exploitive fascination for horses and a rationale for patriarchy.

Stereotypical Kens are always encountered in groups of at least 1d6 + 1, debating with each other who is better. There is a 10% chance that one Stereotypical Ken is actually an Alan who is friendly and willing to help rather than fight.

Stereotypical Ken

Medium Construct, Unaligned
Armor Class 13 (leather vest)
Hit Points 26 (4d8+8)
Speed 30 ft.

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
10 (+0)	10 (+0)	14 (+2)	8 (-1)	8 (-1)	14 (+2)

Saving Throws +2 All Saves
Skills +1 Handle Animal
Damage Vulnerabilities acid, fire
Damage Immunities poison, psychic
Condition Immunities exhaustion, poisoned
Senses passive Perception 10
Languages Common
Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

Everyone’s Favorite Doll’s Boyfriend. Ken adds his Charisma modifier to his attack and damage rolls.

Tailormade. Ken adds his Constitution modifier to his AC and saving throws.

ACTIONS

Shove. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 5 (1d6 + 2) bludgeoning damage. The target must succeed on a DC 12 Strength save or be knocked prone.

Horse Lasso. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 15 ft., one target. Hit: 4 (1d4 + 2) bludgeoning damage. The target must succeed on a DC 12 Dexterity save or be restrained (Escape DC 12).

REACTIONS

Patriarchy Defense. When Ken is targeted by a weapon or spell attack, he can use his reaction to spout spurious, distracting rationale about why patriarchy is the superior societal structure. Whoever targeted him rolls 1d4 and subtracts the number rolled from the attack roll.

Flashmob Ken Swarm

A mob of male lookalike humanoids with classically handsome features clamber about, attempting jazzy choreography together while carrying accessories, tools, and outfits for a variety of leisure activities.

Ken has gathered his friends under the pretense of practicing jazzy dance choreography. Trumped up on his newfound status in the patriarchy, Ken has insinuated inequitable ideals into the flashmob’s consensus. Now the entire group rallies to share the good news that they are in charge now.

Flashmob Ken Swarm

Huge Swarm of Medium Constructs, Unaligned
Armor Class 13 (leather vests)
Hit Points 85 (9d12+27)
Speed 30 ft.

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
14 (+2)	10 (+0)	16 (+3)	8 (−1)	8(−1)	14 (+2)

Saving Throws +2 All Saves
Damage Vulnerabilities acid, fire
Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing
Damage Immunities poison, psychic
Condition Immunities  charmed, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, prone, restrained, stunned
Senses passive Perception 10
Languages Common
Challenge 3 (700 XP)

Rally Day (Recharge 5–6). As a bonus action, The Ken swarm dons fashionable coats and hats and complement their appearances, gaining 7 (2d6) temporary HP for 1 minute.

Reaccessorize. As a bonus action, the Ken swarm redresses into some of their signature accessories, increasing their AC to 15, increasing their speed to 50 ft., or swapping their damage vulnerabilities for their damage resistances. This effect lasts until the beginning of their next turn. The Ken swarm cannot use the same effect two turns in a row.

Swarm. The Ken swarm can occupy another creature’s space and vice versa, and the Ken swarm can move through any opening large enough for a Medium humanoid. Except for Rally Day, the Ken Swarm can’t regain hp or gain temporary hp.

Tailormade. The Ken swarm adds their Constitution modifier to their AC and saving throws.

ACTIONS

Jazz Concert. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., 3 targets within range. Hit: 14 (4d6) psychic damage or 7 (2d6) psychic damage if the Ken swarm is at half HP or less.

Going Bowling. Ranged Spell Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, range 20/60 ft., 3 targets within range. Hit: 14 (4d6) bludgeoning damage or 7 (2d6) bludgeoning damage if the Ken swarm is at half HP or less.

REACTIONS

Patriarchy Defense. When Ken is targeted by a weapon or spell attack, he can use his reaction to spout spurious, distracting rationale about why patriarchy is the superior societal structure. Whoever targeted him rolls 1d4 and subtracts the number rolled from the attack roll.

Beach King Ken

This handsome humanoid has tousled blond hair to reflect his bad boy, liberated status. Shirtless beneath his body-length white fur coat, he is nonetheless ready to rumble with boxing gloves, tennis racket, and cowboy boots.

Beach Ken started it all. He won’t stop his reign of patriarchal terror until he remakes all laws of the land to better serve him and his kind. With his taking of Barbie’s horse Midnight and remodeling Barbie’s Dreamhouse into his Mojo Dojo Casa House, Ken has takena new name: Beach King Ken. Someone needs to tell him kenough is kenough.

Beach King Ken

Medium Construct, Lawful Evil
Armor Class 15 (Fauxjo Mojo Mink Coat)
Hit Points 117 (18d8+36)
Speed 30 ft.

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
13 (+1)	12 (+1)	14 (+2)	9 (−1)	9 (−1)	16 (+3)

Saving Throws +2 All Saves
Skills Athletics +4, Acrobatics +4, Handle Animal +2, Perception +2, Performance +6
Damage Vulnerabilities acid, fire
Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical weapons
Damage Immunities cold, psychic, poison
Condition Immunities exhaustion, poisoned
Senses passive Perception 12
Languages Common
Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)

Everyone’s Favorite Doll’s Boy Friend. Ken adds his Charisma modifier to his attack and damage rolls.

Horse Boy. Ken can cast find steed once per day to conjure a black stallion (use warhorse statistics) called Midnight that he stole from Barbie. In addition, while mounted Ken doubles his proficiency bonus on Performance checks.

Tailormade. Ken adds his Constitution modifier to his AC and saving throws.

ACTIONS

Multiattack. Ken makes two melee or two ranged attacks. Alternatively, Ken can use Beach Off for one of his attacks if it is recharged.

Boxing. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 8 (1d8 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

Going Hunting (Only While Mounted). Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 9 (1d10 + 3) piercing damage. The target must make a DC 14 Strength save or be knocked prone.

Time for Tennis. Ranged Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, range 20/60 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage. The target must make a DC 14 Dexterity save or have disadvantage on their next attack or skill check.

Beach Off (Recharge 5–6). Ken challenges one creature he can see within 30 feet to a beach-themed skill contest. Both he and the target immediately move 15 feet without provoking opportunity attacks to unoccupied spaces adjacent to each other. Then Ken makes a Charisma (Performance) check opposed by the target’s Charisma (Performance) check. Whoever wins, doubles the damage dealt in their next melee attack against the losing participant in the Beach Off.

REACTIONS

Irrational Patriarchy Defense. When Ken is targeted by a weapon or spell attack, he can use his reaction to spout spurious, distracting rationale about why patriarchy is the superior societal structure. Whoever targeted him rolls 1d8 and subtracts the number rolled from the attack roll.

Ken’s Mojo Dojo Casa House Lair

Beach King Ken has laid claim to Barbie’s Dreamhouse, a three-floor beach bungalow with a slide on the top floor that drops down into an inground pool. Ken has redecorated the Dreamhouse in his image with horse memorabilia, indecipherable pro-patriarchy texts, and minifridges full of brewski beers.

LAIR ACTIONS

On initiative count 20 (losing initiative ties), Beach King Ken takes a lair action to cause one of the following effects. Ken cannot use the same effect two rounds in a row.

• Toss Me a Brewski Beer. Ken raids a minifridge for some liquid courage, gaining 14 (4d6) temporary hp for 1 minute.
• Neigh I Say! Ken chooses a point on the ground he can see within 30 feet of him to fill up with a 20-foot radius herd of belligerent horses. The area is considered difficult terrain. Anyone who starts their turn in the area or enters it for the first time must make a DC 14 Wisdom (Handle Animal) check or take 10 (4d4) bludgeoning damage.
• Costume Change. Ken switches outfits. Roll a d4 and consult the Costume Change table.

Costume Change

d4	Costume
1	Ken dons his Fauxjo Mojo Mink Coat. No change to his statistics.
2	Ken dons fencing gear. His AC increases to 17. His Boxing action is renamed En Garde and deals piercing damage instead.
3	Ken dons firefighting gear. His AC becomes 13 and he loses his vulnerability to acid and fire damage.
4	Ken dons a tuxedo. Anyone wearing common or traveler’s clothes has disadvantage on melee attacks against him.