Posts by Clinton J. Boomer

"Jiro the Kobold" by Pat Loboyko

Friday Funny: Read or Paraphrase the Following

As to the chill, it’s a lot like the feeling one imagines one would get when the wizard-ball team one is coaching (most likely as part of a community-service plea bargain) wins the big wizard-ball game and several of one’s star wizard-ballers dump a whole big cooler full of ice, ice demons, water elementals, salt …

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"Jiro the Kobold" by Pat Loboyko

BIG VAMLENTINE’S DAY SALE!

The very instant you notice it, the menacing sheet of sparkle-paper seems somehow almost magnetically drawn to you. Moments later, the fluttering sheet begins slapping against your shins like a hungry kitten who thinks your pockets are maybe—just MAYBE—stuffed full of ham and two-day-old salmon. Against all good judgment, you pick up the mysterious sheet …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 24)

As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please read the earlier installments first. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FIFTY-FIVE (later) Well. Planning—and subsequently executing—a company picnic is significantly harder than I initially expected. Here’s my whole freaking Saturday basically wasted, and I’m no closer to having that punch made than I was this …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 23)

As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please read the earlier installments first. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FIFTY-FOUR (date in t-minus 7 minutes) I owe my friends. BIG TIME. Quite literally, actually. I very specifically had to sign actual paperwork documenting that I, in fact, owe my friends and that, very specifically, …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 22)

As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please read the earlier installments first. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FIFTY-FOUR (I think. Later than this morning, most likely in the . . . I’m going to go with mid-afternoon, now, probably? Also, I’m pretty sure the dates on this diary have gotten a little …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 21)

As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please read the earlier installments first. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FIFTY, late night, [panic mode activated] Aaaaaagh! Date on Friday AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! DAY FIFTY (very early) With . . . with . . . Abliguritia Thundersmasher-Roth! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! DAY FIFTY-ONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! It is Tuesday now. Lots of …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 20)

As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please read the earlier installments first. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY (technically night) FORTY-EIGHT . . . later on than my other two entries today, obviously, and very, VERY possibly already quite a bit into the dark beginnings of DAY FORTY-NINE. I still don’t have a …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 18)

(Also Titled: The Ongoing Diary of Thppgrg, Goblin Minion) As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please scroll down a bit to where you see the Thppgrg tag. Click on it. Yeah, that’s right. Otherwise, if you missed part seventeen, you can just click here. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FORTY-EIGHT So, the show …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 17)

(Also Titled: The Ongoing Diary of Thppgrg, Goblin Minion) As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please scroll down a bit to where you see the Thppgrg tag. Click on it. Yeah, that’s right. Otherwise, if you missed part sixteen, you can just click here. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FORTY-SIX Wow. Interesting rehearsal …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 16)

(Also Titled: The Ongoing Diary of Thppgrg, Goblin Minion) As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please scroll down a bit to where you see the Thppgrg tag. Click on it. Yeah, that’s right. Otherwise, if you missed part fifteen, you can just click here. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FORTY-FIVE And with that, …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 15)

(Also Titled: The Ongoing Diary of Thppgrg, Goblin Minion) As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please scroll down a bit to where you see the Thppgrg tag. Click on it. Yeah, that’s right. Otherwise, if you missed part fourteen, you can just click here. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FORTY-THREE Best Monday EVER. …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 14)

(Also Titled: The Ongoing Diary of Thppgrg, Goblin Minion) As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please scroll down a bit to where you see the Thppgrg tag. Click on it. Yeah, that’s right. Otherwise, if you missed part thirteen, you can just click here. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FORTY-ONE Can’t write. Hung …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 13)

(Also Titled: The Ongoing Diary of Thppgrg, Goblin Minion) As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please scroll down a bit to where you see the Thppgrg tag. Click on it. Yeah, that’s right. Otherwise, if you missed part twelve, you can just click here. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY FORTY Several interesting developments …

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Oh, I’m Going to Get Killed Any Minute Now (Part 12)

(Also Titled: The Ongoing Diary of Thppgrg, Goblin Minion) As ever, readers who are new to the diary, please scroll down a bit to where you see the Thppgrg tag. Click on it. Yeah, that’s right. Otherwise, if you missed part eleven, you can just click here. (Art by Chris McFann.) DAY THIRTY-EIGHT Guh. More toilet …

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