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Magical Meals—crispy fried cockatrice . . . tastes like chicken!

Magical Meals—crispy fried cockatrice . . . tastes like chicken!

Adriaen van Ostade - Feasting Peasants in a Tavern

A mysterious figure known only as the Culinomancer, is a widely travelled individual of renowned skill. Their stated purpose? To create delicious and magical food from every known monster that can be considered edible.

The Culinomancer’s collected writings are popular among a certain niche group of adventurers. Some are interested in the magical benefits such dishes provide. Others are fringe epicureans, seeking pleasure in devouring the rarest, most exotic, and even dangerous food. Whoever this Culinomancer may be, they know their craft. The recipes are powerful aids to adventures, and typically very tasty.

Crispy Friend Cockatrice

Cockatrices aren’t terribly different from typical barnyard fowl, aside from their tempers and the ability to petrify with a touch. Neither of those aspects affects the quality and taste of the meat, which is subtle yet succulent.

For this dish, I recommend using the leg and underbelly meat, and the breast if you need a larger amount. The tail, while holding a significant quantity of flesh, has a firmer texture and subtly different flavor. Not that it isn’t perfectly palatable, it’s just different. The tail meat is more like pork in texture and flavoring, and not optimal for this cooking method, in my opinion.

The most important aspects of this dish are the sauce, the batter, and the double fry. Have a cantrip ready to chill the water if it isn’t cold enough; cold batter and hot oil are key to the perfect, crispy coating. A balanced, well-blended sauce combined with juicy bites of cockatrice surrounded by crunch are the best. I’d still eat it even if it didn’t provide such useful magical benefits.

New Magic Item: Crispy Fried Cockatrice with Spicy Dipping Sauce

Potion, Very Rare             2,000 gp

This meal consists of bite-sized chunks of marinated cockatrice meat, flour-coated and fried, and accompanied by a red sauce—fiery, sweet, and sour, with citrusy undertones—for dipping.

When you eat this meal, you gain resistance to saves against spells and effects that cause petrification for 8 hours. You also become resistant to fire for the same duration and gain the ability to breathe fire as an action, in a 15-foot cone. Creatures in the area of effect must make a DEX save (DC based on your CON score), taking 3d6 fire damage on a failure, or half as much damage on a success. The fire ignites any flammable objects in the area that aren’t being worn or carried. Once you have used the fire breath ability, you lose your fire resistance, but the petrification resistance remains for the normal duration.

Crispy Fried Cockatrice Substitute* (Korean Fried Chicken)

This is a suitable replacement if cockatrice reserves are running low.

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken thighs, quartered (You can use breast meat if you prefer, but I think the texture and flavor of the thighs works better for this recipe.)
  • 4 cups vegetable oil for frying, or as needed
For the Marinade
  • 1/2 yellow onion, grated
  • 6 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 teaspoon table salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon white pepper (If you don’t have white pepper, add another half teaspoon of black pepper.)
  • 1/2 teaspoon sesame oil
For the Batter
  • 1 1/2 cups corn starch
  • 1 cup self-rising flour (If you don’t have self-rising flour, substitute the same amount of all-purpose flour with 3/4 teaspoon baking powder and 1/4 tsp salt.)
  • 2 teaspoons white sugar
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon table salt
  • 2 cups very cold water, or as needed (Put some water in the fridge well before you start cooking.)
For the Sauce
  • 1/2 cup ketchup
  • 1 tablespoon gochujang (This sweet-hot, fermented chili paste isn’t optional. You can find it at Asian markets, and often in the Asian foods aisle of most well-stocked supermarkets. If not, order it online. You’d be amazed at all the delicious things you can make with gochujang.)
  • 2 tablespoons soy sauce
  • 2 green onions, thinly sliced
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 tablespoons honey
  • 1 small lemon, juiced and zested
  • 1/4 cup water, or as needed
  • 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, or to taste
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt, or to taste

Preparation and Cooking

1. Add onion, garlic, salt, pepper, and sesame oil to a medium mixing bowl and stir to combine. Add chicken and mix until everything is well-coated. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 4 hours. (Overnight is best.)

2. Combine ketchup, green onion, garlic, lemon juice and zest, honey, gochujang, and pepper in a saucepan and whisk until well combined. Add enough of the water to reach desired sauce consistency. (For me, that means a sauce thick enough to coat the chicken, but still thin enough to pour. Your views may vary.) Bring sauce to a simmer, then reduce heat to medium-low and simmer about 5 minutes. Taste for seasoning and add salt as needed. Remove from heat and allow sauce to cool to room temperature.

3. Heat oil in a deep fryer or large saucepan until it reaches a temperature of 340° F (171° C).

4. While the oil is heating, prepare your batter. Whisk together the cornstarch, flour, sugar, pepper, and salt in a large bowl. Gradually whisk in the cold water. Batter should be thin and smooth. Transfer the chicken from the marinade to the batter, and stir to completely coat the chicken. Discard any remaining marinade.

5. Fry your chicken in batches. Too much at a time will cool the oil to below optimum frying temperature. Carefully transfer portions of the chicken into the hot oil, and fry for 4 minutes. Transfer fried chicken to a wire rack to cool.

6. Raise the temperature of the oil to 375° F (190° C).

7. Again, in batches, return the chicken to the hot oil, frying for 2 to 3 minutes until the batter is crispy and golden brown. Transfer back to the wire rack to cool and drain.

8. Serve with (or over) rice. How you apply the sauce is up to you. My preferred method is to drizzle the sauce over top of the chicken. You can also toss the chicken in the sauce (like hot wings) or have it on the side in a bowl for dipping.

*Note: While approximating the taste, texture, and appearance of crispy fried cockatrice with spicy dipping sauce, this alternate recipe is not purported to grant any magical effects. A full tummy and satisfied tastebuds should be expected, of course.


about Jeff Lee

Jeff Lee is a 10-year veteran of RPG freelancing. He has written a plethora of material for Kobold Press and other third-party companies. You might know him from Demon Cults & Secret Societies. You might also want to support his Patreon, where he writes things at patrons’ behest: https://www.patreon.com/jeffalee

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