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Your Whispering Homunculus: 50 Strange Entertainments

Your Whispering Homunculus: 50 Strange Entertainments

Your Whispering Homunculus

Master Pett’s Your Whispering Homunculus presents only the finest in British gaming. Indeed, you are not likely to find a more comprehensive assortment of miscellany anywhere.

(So much more than just another bloke in a dress.)



“Come here, least-thing, I have need of you.”

“You have but to ask, oh hairless lord.”

“Tonight, our brave adventurers pass through the streets and byways of a city looking for an evening’s entertainment, and I have need of performers.”

“Bards and minstrels master?”

“Foolish slug. Make these more memorable, for these very entertainers may have a role to play in the future of our brave heroes…”

Performance is not always about the use of a skill check…

The Perform skill is merely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to a profession as diverse as entertainer: Acrobatics, Bluff, Handle Animal, Intimidate, and practically the whole range of skills can be used to entertain and amaze. And these are merely distractions using skills; entertainments come in many diverse forms, and in a fantasy world, any wild fancy may be brought to the laden table of entertainments.

Here is a small sampling of street and circus entertainers that may be encountered in a fantasy world. Use them as background color, random city encounters, or even pivotal characters in your cunning and devious plots.

  1. Darrian Clay, the Amazing Slug Man. Gasp in amazement as Darrian slithers his way through pipe, manacle, and chimney pot as though he were made of rubber!
  2. The Plummeting Gnome. Let Carrabia Shortstone amaze you as she dives from the rooftops into a barrel of treacle.
  3. Hogweed Hamfist’s Heavenly Hoppers. See Hogweed’s angelic dancers leap and bound on the very rooftops above you. Scream in terror as they glide from street to street, suspended only by their grace, balance, and strength.
  4. Porrow Macwilt and his Amazing Tumbling Tortoises. They live, they tumble, they spin!
  5. Heppy’s Performing Dire Stoat. She can dance, she can sing, she can talk—and all for your delight and amusement!
  6. Sarrow’s Swooping Sparrows sway and swing and soar. Sarrow’s Sparrows amaze you all!
  7. Gaze on the pitiful form of the terrible goat-boy and despair. Weep as he sings for a coin, and pity his broken cloven feet.
  8. Stand back and watch, if you dare, the incredible Dragon Wife. She breathes fire from her lips and spouts flame from her nostrils.
  9. See the amazing Three-headed Sisterhood of Crabe. Listen to them squabble and remember—they share the same body!
  10. Slapstick tomfoolery abounds in the Gutter Court of Arch-Clown Cranberry and his Incredible Tumbling Owlbears.
  11. Stand in awe of the Spider Sisters of Garratt Nunnery! Be amazed as they clamber any wall, any gable, any sill—no matter how high, no matter how sheer—and then sing hymns for your delectation.
  12. I am the Great Seer Gorg—ask me a question, any question of knowledge—and I shall answer!
  13. Coming to this street today—the Daughters of the Mare—the most incredible flying, Pegasus-riding acrobats of this or any age!
  14. They say Fisherman of Harg is the son of a mermaid. Watch as he sits in his barrel of water for hour upon hour with no need to breath air!
  15. I am the Paladin and I fear nothing. Watch as I place my angelic heavenly head into the mouths of lions, tigers, and crocodiles without fear!
  16. Be prepared for amazement! Oleg Slinky’s Incredible Acrobatic Bird Men swoop and dive and soar. Watch as they streak to the ground, only to turn at the last possible moment. Scream as they soar headlong at each other and turn with seconds to spare. Blink as they vanish into the sky only to plummet to your quaking heads an eyeblink later!
  17. Oyez! Oyez! Today, for your amazement, the Man-o-Chains shall wander the streets at dusk. Watch as he labors under his coat of living chains and marvel as he escapes his bonds by biting through solid iron.
  18. Sorigaribul—the Amazing Naga-Charmer! You cannot tear your eyes away from this serpentine spectacular!
  19. I am Hok, and I shall now become a ball of living flame!
  20. Fear the coming of the Hogticore! Dare you spend a coin to gaze upon its awful tusked face — and dare you tug its vile barbed tail?
  21. The sign proclaims that “Gracitus the Bringer of Misery” will return to the city square shortly…
  22. Let your children ride on the back of the Hobbity-Ogre—only 2 paltry coins.
  23. Ladies and Gentlemen—our play is entitled “The Tarrasque Comes to Town Tonight!”
  24. Subjar’s Nasal Flute Troop.
  25. Janneski’s Jubilant Jocular Sows are here to sing bawdy songs for your amusement! Wallow in their delights!
  26. Listen to the lament of the Lamenting Lamia.
  27. Watch—if you dare—the Leach Feaster!
  28. The Hive Man shall don a beard of living bees! No generous spectator has ever been stung!
  29. I am Sarg—and I shall swallow sword, stick, and snake!
  30. Behold Yoularp—the man who speaks and dances with giant scorpions!
  31. Goodwife Half-Hedgehog shall ride into town today on the back of her human-faced great pig. Famed by kings and queens across the kingdoms, she can tell your fortune for a gold coin and she is never wrong!
  32. Behold the Dancing Halberds—watch them fight as though held in the hands of invisible warriors!
  33. The Briar Boy—half boy, half thorns—brings you magical wares that cure all ills! Listen to his tales of the forest clearings and the Briar Witch who taught him all a boy should know.
  34. Mongo Mudgely’s Magical Flea Circus!
  35. Ash and his Amazing Dancing Ankheg!
  36. The Prismatic and Refulgent Puppeteer is here! Enjoy tales from lands far and wide: tales of daring, tales of misery, tales of heroism—all performed by the incredible living shrunken heads of Org!
  37. Scream as the Stilt Dancer performs his incredible act of tumbling and balance atop towering 20-ft. stilts!
  38. The Dark Clowns of Clunn and their Dancing Dead Things.
  39. High above the street, the Sister’s Sorrista battle a gargoyle while balancing on a tightrope that burns and frays before your eyes.
  40. The Amazing Balancing Dwarves!
  41. Kuppy’s Warbling Great-Toads!
  42. Sogg’s Swooping Hogfish!
  43. Ask the mummified head a question and she shall answer yes or no!
  44. Watch in amazement as the Monks of Bale shatter glass with their chants!
  45. Mother Morris and her Miming Mule!
  46. Gobel’s House of Living Objects—enter if you dare, the world of living tables, talking chairs and singing clocks.
  47. The Tumbling Swordsmen of Sorl. Watch them dance and slash and sing, cutting hair and shaving beards with a single swish of their swords!
  48. The Iron Horse is coming! Hear the resounding clang of its peerless hooves!
  49. Behold Gavis—the Gnome that Knows All!
  50. The Graven Face of Garrow will tell you when you will die!

8 thoughts on “Your Whispering Homunculus: 50 Strange Entertainments”

  1. This is amazing… and a little disturbing. Kudos on both!

    I’m running a game now where my players are part of a traveling circus, and I have to say this is just the inspiration I needed before the weekend.

  2. Haha, this is mighty awesome!

    Too bad I probably won’t get to do anything similar any time soon, some of those ideas are just TOO delicious!

  3. Rich! How did you know I’d be needing this for next week’s game? This adds so much more flavor, texture, and odor to the twisted Harvest Festival the heroes are going to attend! :twisted:
    Thanks for the killer ideas!!

  4. Huzzah!

    There must be some significance why the Plummeting Gnome is leaping out at me…

    Now I’m free of trial of the beast I’ll be getting some more of these little horrors done soon.


  5. Plummeting Gnome eh? Out here in California we just call it the stomach flu. I had mine already and I’m feel better now.

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