Articles By Author - Richard Pett

Your Whispering Homunculus: Evocative Words, Part One

Evocative Words—Part One “Reading, master?” “Silence maggot, or I’ll have you flensed. I’m too busy consuming Mugwort’s Tome of Evocative Words to communicate with you in any way. Now go and put some more lard on the cat’s boil. Her yowling is irritating me.” Words, beautiful, lovely words. Each paints a glorious picture, and though the old saying of a thousand words is true, so also is the reverse—simple words can evoke images and implant...

Your Whispering Homunculus: Unusual Attire, Part Two

Unusual Attire—Part Two “You’ve changed your mind, master… it is master isn’t it?” “Of course it is. Now tighten my corset, tie up this blouse, and help me put my tiara on or I’ll be late.” Continuing our look at unusual attire, we come to the ladies… Female Attire She’s dressed as some sort of pantomime giant slug She wears a gown of cunning and beautiful silks, held together with a hangman’s noose It appears she’s wearing a gown...

Your Whispering Homunculus: Unusual Attire, Part One

Unusual Attire “Interesting attire you’ve chosen for this evening’s ball, master.” “I see nothing unusual about it. Noteworthy definitely; unusual no.” Well, my thinking is—if he’s going dressed as an evil apocalyptic duck, I wonder what the other guests will come as? Nothing is more important than making a first impression, they say. Well tonight’s YWH certainly aims for that. Dress your NPCs up in some of these costumes, and the questions are...

Your Whispering Homunculus: Curious Locales—Slaughterhouse and Undertaking Emporium, Part Two

Filletess Crab’s Slaughterhouse and Undertaking Emporium, Part Two Curious locales are quirky locations for GMs to drop into their campaigns. Free of class and level, they can be used in any fantasy RPG system. They consist of a single locale with a colorful description, characters and relationships, and ideas for adventures and using them in your campaign. Cut and paste them into your adventures and flesh out the detail, or detail out...

Your Whispering Homunculus: Curious Locales—Slaughterhouse and Undertaking Emporium, Part One

Curious Locales—Filletess Honeysuckle Crab’s Slaughterhouse and Undertaking Emporium “Master!” “What is it now, slug?” “Look, I’ve found a property for sale in the Citystate Gazetteer. It sounds ideal for a summer retreat: quirky, cheap but in need of a major fumigation, let me read it to you…” Curious locales are quirky locations for GMs to drop into their campaigns. Free of class and level, they can be used in any fantasy RPG. They consist of...

Your Whispering Homunculus: d12 Table Time, Part Two

d12 Table Time, Part Two “Pass the port and owlbear cheese, insect. I’m feeling peckish.” Continuing our dubiously useful collection of d12 tables, we start with a quick set of strange coincidences…  A Dozen Serving Wenches or Lads whose Names Rhyme with Chicken It’s occasionally fun to let your players read things into coincidences that just simply aren’t there. Having every barmaid or serving lad have a name that sounds similar is just one...

Your Whispering Homunculus: d12 Table Time, Part One

d12 Table Time “Master, you’ve been in there an awful long time, are you alright?” “Of course I am, and stop interrupting me. I’m just studying volume XXXII of Barn’s Almanac of Dubiously Useful Random Tables, using only the twelve-sided dice. Now, if you haven’t got anything better to do, go away and rebuild that broken harpsichord.” For no good reason whatsoever, here is a collection of extremely obscure and random d12 charts. So obtuse are...

Your Whispering Homunculus: 50 Treasures of the Southlands, Part Two

As a sister to our previous articles Treasures of the Pharaohs and Treasures of the Rajahs, we humbly present for your delectation this article, which itemizes a few trinkets of unusual treasure from the fabled Southlands Campaign Setting. You can use these treasures to spice up troves of well-traveled wizard, bard, or other collectors. No prices have been set for the items, so you to drop them at any stage into your adventures: 25.    A...

Your Whispering Homunculus: 50 Treasures of the Southlands, Part One

“Well?” “Well, what, your domeness?” “You’re covered in dust—explain.” “Ah, the dust. Yes, well, I was under the Great Stair and—” “You are not to go under-stairs, ever. You’ve only been briefly in my employ and would do well to remember the last homunculus that pried too deeply into my affairs and property.” “Yes, master. I was drawn by the curious red leather tome with its ankh...

Your Whispering Homunculus: All Smiles, Part Three

All Smile, Part Three “Gah! He’s left one of those irksome snowmen outside, curse the man.” “No master, I’m afraid that snowman is your Uncle Flobb.” And so we come to the end of our suggested seasonal get-togethers. One final pair of events that may get everyone together in an uneasy way… The Call for Help from an Enemy You need to know your players well to try this one as you might be wasting your time before you...

Your Whispering Homunculus: All Smiles, Part Two

All Smiles, Part Two “Is he still there?” “Yes, master. Ah, you’ve changed your mind and are going to let him in from the cold? Kind master.” “Not at all. I want to drink this brandy and eat this cake from the window where he can see me whilst he shivers outside.” Continuing our dark look at the season of goodwill, here are a few more ideas for unusual or unexpected events to throw at your players. The Gift What a tale you can spin when your...

Your Whispering Homunculus: All Smiles, Part One

All Smiles, Part One “He’s still out there master.” “Good.” “But master, your great uncle Flobb is turning blue.” “Let him. I never liked the man.” “But master, it is the season of goodwill. Surely, you have some kindness in your bones at this, the happiest time of the year.” “Nope.”  This is the season of good will—the giving of gifts, the joy of friends and family, the season of happiness and pleasure. At least in general. Not everyone shares...

Your Whispering Homunculus: Obscure Symbols and Portents, Part 2

Everything has meaning some say, and in a world of suspicion and magic and portents that come true, these curious signs must assume great importance to some; particularly to those that have little else to grasp onto except toil and woe.  Here are fifty such beliefs, customs and warning signs from the gods, together with their randomly generated, somewhat obscure meanings or consequences. Use these to have NPCs warn PCs of the true meaning of...

Your Whispering Homunculus: Obscure Symbols and Portents, Part 1

“‘Tis a dark night, Master, and full of evil portents. I saw three toads heading toward the crescent moon as night fell, and we all know what that means. For days now the air has been alive with buzzards, midges, and the distant singing of one-armed mummers. Only last week a piglet with three faces was born out toward Gimly. Something terrible is clearly afoot.” “Shut up, and get on with clipping my toenails.”...

Your Whispering Homunculus: 50 Treasures of the Rajahs

“What’s that unpleasant smell?” “Which one, your unbeautifulness?” “That strangely sweet, smoky one.” “Ah, incense, your massiveness. I’ve just found a box of uncatalogued goods from your trip to the lands of the rajahs.” “Well, be careful. Those things can be dangerous. Now, help me adjust my sock gaiter.”  As a companion-piece to Treasures of the Pharaohs, we humbly provide for your use a list of treasures that originate in the land of...

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